Something has been changing.

I think my body speaks very loudly. My body has been ordering me to raise my children since their birth. It bound me in motherhood so tightly and seemed never to let me free. My body is very very strict, like a drill sergeant. I had to work like a slave. It didn’t allow me to use myself for myself. What I was provided was just enough to keep me alive. However, after my eldest child was accepted into high school, the bond loosened. My body gave me some space for myself. I am very happy. But I wonder what part of my body is controlling me.

Picking up the scattered litter outside the litter box is also an experience of being alive. I am experiencing being alive. That is what I felt this morning. I want to hold on to this feeling.

 

I went on my first walk of 2026 at the end of winter break. I wanted some time to myself.I had decided to go to a cafe that has my favorite hot chocolate. I strolled through the neighborhood near the cafe, holding my hot chocolate in my hand. I often visit the area, but I had never walked down the back streets before. There was an interesting restaurant covered with plants, and even chain restaurants were somehow distinctive. Even the construction fences felt oddly enjoyable. I was happy with the stimulation of small discoveries along the way. Then, I realized how much I put myself last over the past two weeks. I’ll be careful not to overdo the holiday cooking next year. I had some hot chocolate that had cooled, but it still tasted good.

Perhaps I need to take a slow walk again.