My everyday life is about taking care of my family.

I once repressed my emotions. I buried myself very deep. It was so deep that I could never see myself again. I was just a happy person in everyone’s eyes, even in the eyes of those closest to me. But, I was suffering from losing  the light to see the world without me realizing it. Seeing the world and finding its beauty was my joy. Losing the sight was painful. I wasn’t happy at all. I let go of the only thing I truly wanted. I love my children, and perhaps I felt I needed to protect their lives at the cost of my own. But this is not a beautiful story of a mother who sacrifice herself for the love of her children. This is a story of failure. I should have looked for a way to survive with my children. I lived in hell and visited many places with Joanna. We smelled them and talked about them.

Recently, I’ve  started to see the light again. I’ve waited for so long to see the world, to see the things once more. It is pure joy and liberation. I can sometimes hear breathing of what I buried.I’m glad that I can finally begin to rebuild my connection with the world.

Thank God! This is just a beginning of my journey. I don’t want to go back to hell though I could say I relatively enjoyed the time I spent there. But no returning please. I will desperately hold on to the strength to love this world forever. Yesterday, I thought I needed to sing and to have my private space. I will sing a song, I will  make anything I want and spread it to the world whether people like it or not. Be ready for it, world!!